She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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