Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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