Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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