i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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