The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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