sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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