This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
