He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
