Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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