oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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