I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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