thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
