i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
