I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
