so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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