I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
