i may or may not be watching the land before time
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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