I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
