The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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