what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
