yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
