I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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