If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
