So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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