I look better un-naked...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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