we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
