Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
