I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
this will be a night to untag.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize