I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
