Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
