He kissed a someone with a penis
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize