I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The ass gains better be worth it
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