apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
