On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
