She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize