yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I came so hard my ears popped.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
