i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
