yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
