Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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