similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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