so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
