Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
