Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You can't motorboat a personality
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
please don't ironically join a cult
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