I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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