how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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