Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
