He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
