so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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