i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
