The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
