If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
