Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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