JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
