The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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