Whod you bang
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
