I bet he comes in French.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
