so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
