I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
