she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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