Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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