i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
