it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
